Don't Say My Name
by Grayshadow Warrior
Summary: It was clear the moment she stepped out of the nursery that more was expected of her than her sister. At least Hawkfrost and Tigerstar understood her power and potential, and from them came the battle. In the midst of it all is the perfect sister, staring both Death and her shadow, her echo in the eye. But Dovewing never cared about her, so why should Ivypool do the same?


**AU: Ivypool didn't confess to Dovewing and didn't spy.**

**This one-shot is a little bit of a wake up call for myself and a way to restore faith in me for my readers. I just need a winning choice on my poll to decide what I'm gonna do before I make any major moves forward writing-wise. Your input is appreciated.**

**Note: Snowfur was put in because I thought she would understand what Ivypool was going through. It didn't fit that anyone else would show up but my fluffy little snowball.**

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It was never supposed to be this way.

Dovewing didn't used to be special. Things were fine before Lionblaze and Jayfeather started dragging her into secret meetings once she saved everyone from some "terrifying" oversized squirrels that she kept bragging about. Sometimes she would overhear the nonsensical murmurs that passed between them.

Dovewing had powers? Ivypool had wanted to laugh when she heard that. That wasn't possible, and besides, if Dovewing really did possess supercat abilities, Ivypool would too.

But StarClan didn't plan things out that way, Ivypool learned. This is where she had grown to despise both her sister and their _perfect_ ancestors that walked the skies in harmony in their _perfect_ world watching over their _perfect_ chosen ones.

At least Hawkfrost and Tigerstar had noted her power and potential. They took her in and taught her to harness what Dovewing could not. Nobody had to know, especially her amazing sister that everyone adored. She'd let her learned powers go disguised before the battle she could show them off at.

The yowls of the tussling cats swirled and formed into a haunting song that drifted through Ivypool's ears, bringing her back to the present. The ShadowClan warrior she was grappling with let out a cry of pain as the silver she-cat sunk her claws further into his fur.

Releasing him, she let the cat grow a sense of strength and superiority over her as she faked fatigue, crumbling to the ground. As the tom approached, paw raised and poised to strike, Ivypool darted underneath him, rolled over, and drew a long slice along his stomach before running away and leaving him to face his demise.

She raced through a clump of battling warriors and paused as she looked around for another target. The plan was for her to pick off the weak ones and eliminate any chance of the strongest of Tigerstar's warriors getting out-numbered.

Ears perked, she twisted her head around and spied a pair of rather small-looking apprentices clawing up a tom Ivypool had seen once during her night training. She would be able to double-team them with the tom easily and kill them with a few blows. As she approached the apprentices with unsheathed claws, a familiar cry cut through the other caterwauls, so loud and high that everything else was just white noise.

And then _she _spotted her. The wonderful, amazing, beautiful Dovewing, trapped beneath a large, ferocious she-cat as she pummeled her belly. Her shout for help was cut short with another piercing shriek.

Ivypool's eyes fought between widening with worry (she would never, ever admit she was worried about _her_) and narrowing in anger, resulting in an awkward combination that made her look half-asleep. Shaking her head, she rushed forward and told her comrade that this cat was hers.

Dovewing released a sigh of relief, bright green eyes watering with appreciation as she stared at Ivypool.

The other one.

The sister.

_Her _sister.

Never Ivypool.

Rage bubbled up inside her, and she tore her claws across Dovewing's face, relishing the tear of her fur and flesh. Ivypool pinned her to the ground, taking advantage of her shock and rolling across the bloodied grasses with her sister.

"Ivypool!"

Her silver ears twitched, choosing to ignore the pleading way her name was spoken. Instead, she held her to the forest floor, staring into her sister's eyes. "Don't say that name!" Dovewing looked taken aback, whimpering helplessly as she flailed beneath her sister's weight. "I was never Ivypool to anyone else but Whitewing, and even she forgot sometimes."

"Ivypool, I—"

"_I said don't say it_!" Ivypool yowled, cutting her off and reveling in the way that Dovewing squirmed in fear and confusion. "I was just your sister to the Clan! And _you_. You never asked how I felt or what I did that day! I was just _there_!"

Her voice cracked a little, grip loosening enough for Dovewing to cease her wriggling. "You never cared about me, so why should I do the same to you?"

Dovewing's gaze lowered, and after a small pause, she murmured, "I don't know."

Ivypool's eyes widened, but she quickly covered it by narrowing them to sapphire slits. She had expected Dovewing to beg for mercy, to fight back, to protest, or _something_ that wasn't… that.

"You're right," she continued, voice barely a whisper. "I never thought about you. I had so much on my mind that I never noticed who needed me most."

Dovewing, pulling against Ivypool's grip, exposed her belly to her sister, raising her head so that green eyes met blue, a merciless sea against a pure green forest. "You shouldn't care. But before you kill me, I'm… sorry."

Ivypool froze, gaze never drawing away from that of her sister's. A stream of flashing memories flew through her mind before the clamor in her head grew so unbearable that the she-cat had to scream to make it all stop. And like that, the world was silent. Turning her head, she searched for any familiar landmark that would show her where she was, but nothing was there except she and a pure white she-cat glimmering with tiny star-like speckles.

Ivypool couldn't move. She was stuck in her pinning position on thin air, but her head and all of its features were completely free. She cast a quizzical glance at the supposedly StarClan she-cat. "Who are you? And… I thought StarClan was fighting too?"

"I am Snowfur." The she-cat sat down, wrapping her tail around her paws, looking slightly sheepish, but determined more so. "I had—have—a sister. Her name is Bluestar. I did not wish to become sisterless, for I knew if I went in, Thistleclaw would see me and grow more enraged than ever at her and without a doubt kill her. She and Thistleclaw have… a history."

"Well, why are you here?" Ivypool scanned the warrior down, seeking out some sort of hostility—raised hackles, bushy tail—and finding none. Deciding she wasn't a threat, she relaxed, only to tense up again as Dovewing appeared, still trapped beneath her. The she-cat was frozen in time.

"She is why."

"Oh, because everyone revolves around _Dovewing_!" Ivypool let out a frustrated hiss. To think that, for a moment, she had thought Snowfur had appeared to help her only to find out it was all about Dovewing!

"No." Snowfur rested a tail on Ivypool's shoulder, who flinched. "I came because I knew that if she died, StarClan's prophecy and our future prophecies would go unfulfilled. We rely on both her and you to make sure she comes out alive."

"And what if I do kill her?"

Snowfur didn't answer, only turned Ivypool's head toward Dovewing. "Look at her and see her intentions. She never meant to hurt you so."

The silver warrior snorted. All of that pain Dovewing caused brought the Clans to this. Flicking her gaze over at her sister, she shook her head. There was nothing that she could see on the surface.

"Further."

As she searched deeper into her eyes, she noticed there was no challenge. No confidence or pride that she had always seen when she looked at her sister. She was… insecure. Fearful. Worried she would fail and stressed that her Clan wouldn't accept her if she made a mistake. And deepest of all was an ocean of regret that hit Ivypool like a wave.

Ivypool felt a weight carry off her shoulders, and she could move again. Letting go of the she-cat before her, she murmured, half to herself, "I can't do this."

Snowfur released a quiet sigh of relief that, judging by how she had hidden it behind her tail, was not meant to be noticed. "And what shall you do now, Ivypool?"

The cat in question flinched at her name, but a soft rumble from within her throat that lasted all but a few seconds displayed her approval at its use. This was about her, not Dovewing. "I think… I think I'm done with the Dark Forest."

The white she-cat nodded. "Perhaps that is for the best. Will you fight against them?"

"I will. With Dovewing."

"Good." Snowfur's eyes flashed for a second that could be either pride or nostalgia, but it was too fast for Ivypool to distinguish. Quietly, she said, "I am glad that you will try to make amends with your sister. I… never truly did with Bluestar. She seemed to be happy to see me when she died, and I believe she was, but hidden inside her I saw that she did not forgive me for becoming so close to Thistleclaw. …Forgive me. I did not mean to put this upon such young a cat as you. But… good luck, Ivypool."

And the starry she-cat faded away wearing a kind expression until the cries of battle could be heard once more. Glancing down, she saw Dovewing, watching her expectantly. Carefully, she released her sister. "Thank you. For apologizing, and… for finally being here for me. You value my happiness over your life, and that means a lot. So… I can't do this. I can't kill you. But I'll fight alongside you."

Pure shock crossed Dovewing's fluffy features, and for a moment she opened her jaws to say something, only to close them again, and so on that she looked almost like a fish. Finally, she said, "I can't believe I ever left you behind."

Ivypool shrugged. "That's in the past. Now, there's a Dark Forest trainee over there who's just begging to be beaten."

As the two ran together, steps matched, Dovewing asked, "I thought they were your friends?"

"They were never my friends. I think I knew way before now about their intentions, I just didn't care anymore. They were the only ones who saw me for who I was, or at least I thought." Pausing, she added, "And anyway, those fox-hearts can't compare to the sister I already have."


End file.
